Can you say: “A future ex girlfriend wanted?” That is really the sober and brutal truth, when it comes to the Ashley Madison type dating site. These are sites for people currently in relationships, assisting their having an external additional relationship(s). If one is not a masochist, then it is a folly to even play with these types of dating sites.
Love is rarely a fairy tale, but it is unlikely that Ashley Madison type sites have led to the finding of any fairy tale romances. Under the tagline; “Life is short, have an affair,“ these sites are a threat to the institution of marraige, and purveyors of temptation.
Indeed without their existence it is certain that countless unions would have come through their rough periods unspoilt by infidelity. One might as well try to hit on your neighboring housewives or househusbands. Indeed, one might even have more success and happiness trying to hook up with the neighbor’s wife, than these online dating sites.
I can’t take the moral highground here, the words; “looking at the menu and not needing to order,“ would repeat on me.“ There are those however, in particular those who have been cheated on, who would prefer this type of site not to exist. Of course if a person is eager to do the dirt on their partner, there are other ways, and means to accomplish it, yet these sites make it all too tempting.
One also must wonder about the personality type of those that take the time to go online specifically looking to have an affair. These are strictly one time dates. If one is looking for a serious, committed and long term relationship, looking at the taken yet still open market, is destined to be the wrong choice.
Still, with ten years of successful introductions, and more than 2 million members, Ashley Madison has made a name for herself for the wrong reasons, as well as obvious good business sense. When business ethic is thrown out the window, there is always money to be made.
Whilst other purveyors of online dating excellence come with the taglines of truth, honesty, love and companionship, the roots of these sites are tied with sex only, frittered away in virtual anominity. Empty passionless sex that serves little purpose. Anyone looking for a serious relationship, or at the very least an open and honest relationship, should not even consider the Ashley Madison type of dating site.
Yet even the sex element of what they claim to provide, is inhibited by the anonymity, for obvious reasons there are no photographs on display, with “matches“ determined by means other than attraction. Where is the success in that?
Everything about these sites is sleazy, even down to little features that keep the cloak over the dagger you are using to backstab your partner. A ’panic button’ that sends the user instantly to a movie trailer site if someone looks over your shoulder and might see what you are doing, for instance.
When we go out of our way to screw with the foundations of the marital bond, we deserve payback, yet the only payback the Ashley Madison site, and others like it have received is financial reward. It is easy to sleep soundly, knowing you have played a part in the destruction of the fabric that holds our society together, when you are sleeping on a matress loaded with green backs.
The relationships that these sites set out to create are foundationless, they are wrong on umpteen levels, they arent even relationships, they are just sexual relations. You can’t take the individual out in a public place, you can’t date, and go to the movies or do wholesome things like share ice-cream sundaes (Ok I am trivialising wholesomeness here, not my intention.)
Life is indeed short Ms Madison, too short infact to waste our time on activities that could lose us the one thing in our lives that might have some meaning. Every marraige, just like every relationship, has its peaks and its troughs, its good days and those days where yes you may wish you had someone elses shoulder to nuzzle into. But really, to create an online world, to create a virtual empire based on not giving these relationships the chance to reach the peaks once again, it is indeed folly Ms Madison, and an activity that should onset the shame it deserves.
Nicholas Jackman loves writing about dating tips and social media. Follow Nicholas on Twitter here.